If for Mothers
(for Debbie)

If you can keep your lunch, while all about you
are losing theirs and spewing on you,
If you can forget yourself when all demand more of you
But make allowance for some fun too
If you can wait at ballet, soccer and painting
But then dash out to fill the pantry with supplies
And still be home at bedtime,cause stories are waiting
And yet look good with a twinkle in your eyes

If you can dream – dreams for the little miss or master,
If you can think – while chaos is the game;
if you can heal with a kiss and a plaster
And by a hug banish both heartbreak and shame
If you can bear to hear the truths you’ve spoken
Forgotten, and keep faith that they were heard
Or watch the ones you give your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with a well chosen word.

If you can make one heap of all your dishes
and rinse it all whilst planning meals for the morrow
And within the hour start again at your beginnings
And yet not give in to despair or weeping sorrow
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Love which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with toddlers and keep your sanity,
Or create kings, knights and princesses by working like a maid
If neither tantrums nor sulking provoke self pity
If all can count on you, but you never get paid
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With NINETY seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is my heart and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more -you’ll be my hero, my Mum

Winter is here in Redding. As we came in to land yesterday we could see that some of the mountains that surround Redding had put on new white coats to protect themselves from the cold winds swirling around them, others sported a thin white lace negligee as, like many before them, they traded warmth for the desire to just be beautiful and draw attention to themselves.

Mystery has jet lag and so I am sitting in the lobby at 4:00 a.m. with her whilst she plays happily, hoping that there is enough of me that is awake that I can post something onto the blog before breakfast. The plan for today was to go to healing rooms with Mystery, however we just saw on the website that the healing rooms are not opening today as a result of the holidays, so it seems that God wants to bless us another way!

The trip over was attended by so much blessing and favour, when we got onto the plane in Johannesburg, a man and a woman who were sitting behind us volunteered to move so that we could have four seats in a row to ourselves, as a result Mystery slept great and even Debbie and I had extra leg room and managed to get a few hours sleep. We have such a sense of expectancy about this trip and know that God has things lined up for us even if it is the holidays here, God is going to connect us supernaturally with the right people. As a sign of things to come when we landed in New York the sun was just on the horizon and was shining directly through the window on our left. Somehow the light was refracted in such a way that it cast a rainbow onto the ceiling over our chairs and onto the head rest of Debbie’s chair. I looked up and down the aisle to see if it was happening all the way down the plane, but there was only one spot where conditions were right it seems, over us, over Mystery. So once again Father reminds us; “God is faithful to ALL his promises”.

However I need to back track a little, the cruise started with a bang last night as all those who are part of the Religious Detox Cruise gathered in the “Liquid Disco” room. The meeting was billed as a “meet and greet” but quickly turned into a wild Holy Ghost party. Even during introductions people shouted, laughed and manifested the presence of God in various ways as most of the participants got down to the serious business of enjoying God. Praise and worship was lead by Godfrey from England and it was a joyful celebration of the finished work of Christ, without a trace of striving to earn or merit what God has freely given us in Christ. Soon the disco floor resembled many of the dance floors that I frequented as a teenager as drunken saints danced and staggered to the music Godfrey belted out. As for me I just lay on the floor and enjoyed the presence of God. It was only when I tried to stand up that I realized how thick the presence of God in the room was. Up until that moment I had not felt the motion of the ship at all due to the state of the art stabilizers that this ship is equipped with and the flat seas. All of a sudden even though the weather was unchanged and the stabilizers were still functioning it felt like the deck was pitching wildly under my feet. Navigating across the room was a tricky but enjoyable business. If that is a “Meet and greet, then I can’t wait for the main sessions!

Today was low key, I started with 1 km in the pool (I know I’m super impressed too!) and then a couple of hours soaking in my room. Just after lunch we docked in Tunis. My room mate Stewart (A pastor from Johannesburg) and I took a taxi to town, stopping to see the ruins of Carthage along the way. What an experience. In the suburb that we visited the houses are painted blue and white and merchants bustle out from every corner to encourage you sometimes over enthusiastically to buy their wares. I only just escaped from buying a beautiful blue and white hand made bird cage. It was gorgeous but getting it home would have been a nightmare! However I did max out my SD card on my camera.

The day ended with our taxi driver buying us a very welcome cold Tunisian beer. In all Tunis made a surprisingly favorable first impression on me. It is a blend of exotic and spicy beauty. As we steam out into the med again I realize just how kind God is, I am really enjoying being “Detoxed”

My back is aching and I am tired partly because I have been dragging baggage around France for the last 10 days. However, I am not complaining because the weight of my bags can in no way detract from the ease and lightness I find in my soul. As I dragged my bags from city to city in France I shed a burden that I have been carrying for the last 20 years! No baggage is heavier than unrealized expectations and unanswered questions. When I was 20 years old I was studying French at university after having spent a gap year in France. One day whilst I was taking a shower I felt God tell me that one day I would preach the gospel in France. The thought thrilled me at the time as I love France, the people, the food, the culture, the language and I had high expectations that I would soon return to the country that had changed the course of my studies from the sciences to the arts. I even told Debbie when we met and fell in love that she needed to know up front that there was a call on my life to preach the gospel in France. However, things worked out very differently to my youthful plans. Years passed, 22 of them. I had begun to wonder if I would ever preach the gospel in France and even if I could preach the gospel in French. I often asked myself even if I had anything to bring to France. There were times where the dreams and questions became so heavy that I would just shed the load like checked baggage at the airport and and not think about them traveling light, but they would turn up periodically in my journey and circle the dream baggage reclaim to taunt me. I tried a few times to just leave them unclaimed but somehow they would just find their way home to my heart having miraculously picked up weight with every passing year. Each time I met a French person or would hear French spoken or sung they would catch my eye from their dusty corner and all the old questions would come back. Did I hear right? Do I have a part to play in the gospel story of the nation of France? Is my French good enough that I could preach in French.

Last Friday that weight finally began to slip from my shoulders. As I stood to preach my first sermon in French on French soil I could not help myself as tears rolled down my cheeks in gratitude to our wonderful Father God who made sure that after this long journey that my bags finally arrived at their intended destination. Not only that but as we travelled around France enjoying the friends, food and wine ( red, white and heavenly) of all the regions I could see that I had picked up in South Africa what I needed to actually bring something that would bless this nation. Everywhere we went God faithfully met us and poured out his loving presence in joy, laughter, healing, signs and wonders. He opened amazing doors of favor as new friends and old opened their hearts and homes to us treating us to French hospitality which never failed to touch our hearts and humble us. We met men and women of God who have labored faithfully in this nation for years and years and we worshipped together and drew encouragement from each other.

Now I am flying South to Barcelona, Spain to catch a ship for a 8 day Religious Detox cruise ( I know my dedication to my work is awesome isn’t it? ) and I am leaving France convinced that what I saw in the last 10 days in the French churches is the beginning of a great European revival. France is hungry and thirsty for more of the presence of God, for an authentic encounter with God’s loving power. Three centuries of official secularism have left the people dry as tinder just waiting for one small match of Holy Ghost revival fire to rekindle the flames of revival and reformation that once burnt across that great nation. We lit some of those fires, now our prayer is that God will cause the breath of heaven to blow on them and that a conflagration of love will sweep across the country.

So here I am back where I started. Those heavy bags are finally gone. Wait, that’s weird I see another small bag coming through the flaps, it has my name on it. As I turn it over I see written on it a new question ” When will I be coming back?”. With a tears running down my face I am sitting here flying over Spain and I don’t hesitate to claim the bag, after all what is life without a dream?

The countryside that we are passing through is some of the most beautiful that I have ever seen. Plowed fields, vineyards, orchards race past our window in the surprising heat of this autumn day. Every now and then a small town or village follows desperate to catch up. Sadly the woman next to me cannot share the beauty parading past, she has been blind for the last 10 years.

Our time in France has been so much fun God has been meeting us and blessing us everywhere we go. The meetings in Toulouse were so full of the presence of God. On Friday and Saturday we met with the young people of FJ (King’s Kids) and we had a wonderful time. The manifested presence of God hung in the air so tangibly that almost all the Kids were touched in one way or another. We ministered prophetically on and off for most of the day on Saturday and the report back we got was that we were right on target. It was awesome to see kids coming alive as they heard how God saw them, as the day wore on the presence grew stronger and stronger until there were puddles of drunken, laughing people everywhere, normally with a member of our team under the pile!

One girl walked late into the meetings and as she walked into the room she walked up to Gotz and burst into tears. She was wanting God to speak to her. Gotz and the FJ leaders prayed for her and gave her beautiful words about dancing for Jesus. Later I happened to bump into the same girl and I asked if I could pray for her. I too had a picture of her dancing on a stage for Jesus, despite the fact that I hadn’t spoken to Gotz or any others. We found out she is a classically trained Ballet student and she had come to the meetings to ask God if she should continue to pursue her dance career, it was the one question on her mind! Later Belinda gave her a prophetic painting of a dancer she had done in SA that she felt she should bring with her. Tears welled up in her lovely eyes as it hit her that someone had painted a paiting of a ballet dancer in Africa and brought it all the way to Toulouse just for her! God poured his love into her. She is just one of the many treasures we got to meet in the meetings.

On Sunday morning I had the privilege of ministering in the Assembly Chritien de Toulouse, (ACT) I shared some of our story and on how to steward revival then we ended with a fire tunnel with the kids from FJ as the prayer servants. The glory fell as both young and old people experienced the love joy and power of the presence of the Lord. By the time we were finished the room was covered with happy drunks.

Another girl came to me as the Church wrapped up. She asked me why she never felt anything when the presence fell. She was really hurting. Belinda and I ministered to her for quite a while during which time Belinda led her in an experience with God in heaven. Then I felt to take her to her heavenly father. In a vision she saw Father God hugging her and began to cry softly for a few moments, then she apologized explaining that her Dad had never ever hugged her, So I asked can I give you a hug? As soon as I wrapped her in my arms this young girl began to weep as years of pain and alienation poured out of her and the love of God poured into her. By the end of our time a smile was wrapped on her beautiful face as she radiantly accepted the love of God for her.

Last night we went out to dinner with Cathy and Helene. Once again we just seemed to be in the company of angels, the presence of God was so thick that we were all drunk long before the single bottle of wine was opened. We laughed so much that Cathy keep on saying “shh you are going to wake up my mum” (Her mother had gone to bed early) It felt a lot like parties I went to as a teenager! What a fun night.

Now I am on my way to Geneva. I got to pray for a lady on my left who had a number of health problems. She had a very painful neck I prayed several times for her neck with no apparent result. We began to speak of other things, all of a sudden I felt heat in my ankle and asked if she had any issues in that area, she said yes that her whole right leg was really messed up so I prayed for her and her eyes went wide and she said I can feel the heat, then electricity, I have every expectation that she will be totally healed!!

Yes, I prayed for the lady who was blind, I shared our testimonies with her, it seemed like the whole carriage was listening. She also felt heat enter into her. We exchanged emails, I have a great sense of excitement in my heart.

There are moments in our lives which we never forget, some are stand alone iconic moments of power, wonder or beauty. Others however are prosaic and seemingly ordinary, like the moment I am thinking back to now. 20 years ago I was taking a shower in the afternoon in my University residence and as I stood with the hot water gradually running out I sensed the Lord tell me ” Nigel one day you will preach the gospel in France”. There were no angels, no music and the only goose bumps I had were from the water growing cooler but none the less I left the shower with a clear conviction that one day I would be called to preach the gospel in France. Over the years I would sometimes wonder if I had missed it, there have been many times that I have been tempted to discard that word, as I waited it just seemed too painful to keep carrying this dream and never seeing it fulfilled. That is the thing about the word of the Lord when you receive the word you must test it, and then it must test you! I never forgot that word, as a result I keep trying to polish my spoken French, I used it at every opportunity. French tourists were often surprised to be greeted by this enthusiastic African, eager to use their language and I prayed and prayed and waited.

This afternoon I ate lunch with the director of all the healing rooms in France and his wife (Duck, frites, salad and tasty burgundy followed by French café) and joy bubbled up. I am in France, I share tonight with about 40 young people on the supernatural life. I know that God has prepared me for this moment and this moment for me. His loving kindness and favour moves me, he loves us so radically, and so wisely! This is France’s hour, and it is also my time in France. Thank you God, my beautiful loving God. All I can say is “MERCI, MERCI, MERCI!

Those who would walk in the power of God and carry a spirit of might must be comfortable with weakness. This is one of the paradoxes of the Kingdom of God. In the darwinian logic of today it is the strong who are powerful and who rule, in the kingdom only those who know how to access their weakness, who can press into their fears and insecurity are ready for the responsibility of wielding the ultimate power of God’s spirit and anointing.

I believe that for many this truth is to become important in 2011. Many respected prophetic voices around the world have declared that this is a year of transition and shift both in the world at large and in the church. Already that pandora’s box has burst open as in North Africa and the Middle East we see nations shaking, governments falling and cities burning and changing. Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain, Libya, Morocco, Yemen are all caught in a growing hurricane of change as their people unite in a primal cry for freedom and work for change. The change is coming quicker than many could have anticipated. In 18 days a government which held power for decades in Egypt was swept into the dustbin of history. Now the world waits with baited breath asking the all important question, what will emerge? Will the middle east find freedom and democracy or will the religionists, the hardliners and fanatics seize power and, taking advantage of the insecurities and fears provoked by change, steal the revolution and put the people under the yoke of religion, control and repression. We need to watch and pray for nations are at the cross roads of history.

The same forces are at work in the church in 2011. I believe the earthquake in New Zealand is a prophetic picture of things to come in the church, last year we saw a shift in Christchurch, (Christ’s Church), however a shaking is about to be released in which many structures which were built for another time will fall. Great flexibility is going to be needed. The church is in transition, systems of government that have seemed stable for decades are about to experience sweeping changes. A shift is occurring that is about giving power to the people in the pews and not just to those in the pulpit. Old systems of government that were once revolutionary, that were birthed in the renewals and freedom movements of the past but which over time left only a few people with real power are about to be challenged to reform and change or to disappear. God is wanting to free his bride and bring her to a beautiful maturity. However as Margret Thatcher once famously said “When the pack ice breaks up, you get icebergs” Change is bound to bring with it insecurity, excess, casualties on both sides from radicals and entrenched interests. How we solve those problems will determine the face of the future church, and the world.

The shift that we are seeing in the world and in the church is about true power combined with freedom. In 1960 Harold Macmillan spoke of the “Winds of Change” as he stood before the South African parliament. His speech was prescient and prophetic, it released a wave of change in Africa that brought independence to many African nations and a level of freedom in many places. However in many places the empowerment and freedom that Africa was desiring did not materialize. Power and freedom instead of being the experience of all became the privilege of a few powerful people. The same year that Macmillan released the winds of change in the political arena the Charismatic movement began to shape church culture world wide. It too began with a ground swell of people who were looking for power and freedom. It brought tremendous growth and blessing to the body of Christ again, however, in some ways the empowerment and liberty that many expected, has failed to materialize. In many places systems of church government grew which facilitated an ecclesiastical version post independence African dictatorships. Churches were centered on one or two powerful people and a mass of largely disempowered controlled followers. In both the political and the ecclesiastical arena, the revolution was stolen, or at least it never matured into true liberty and power for ordinary people. However, fresh winds are blowing, the winds of change are again being released in Africa and in the church.

The pattern which emerged in both political and church dictatorships was that of the ” Strong man” who emerged to rule and lead. Seeing themselves as fathers and their followers as children they often never allowed others to mature to share the freedoms and power that they claimed for themselves and a small group of elite leaders. They became the poster for Jesus’ teaching in Luke 22:25
“The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who have authority over them are called ‘Benefactors .’
However Jesus went on to contrast this leadership with Kingdom leadership, a leadership that is mediated not through power, maturity and strength but in weakness, humility and childlike simplicity. He said
“But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest , and the leader like the servant .”

The Holy Spirit is releasing winds of grace to empower and liberate the whole body of Christ. I believe that as the church leads, so the world will follow. This is an every man revival, where it is not about power for the strong but power for all. Regardless of gender, generation, social status or denominational and cultural background, a new wave of supernatural power is being released. It is a grace which is at home with the weak, the broken and the normal not just with the strong, the whole or the super gifted. It is focused on Christ’s virtues and his work and thus it is not threatened by diversity or cultural differences. In this context I begin to understand the gift of my weakness, because in my weakness the power of God finds a place to rest, to live in me. As it is written in 2 Corinthians

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Thank God for your weaknesses, boast in them for it is there that you will discover the power of God, where you will experience the joy and the freedom of the cross.

Can these blanched remains of hopeful lives
Rise and run to claim the promises that perished in blood
Sodden soils tremble to the rattle that is quickening
The winds on the dusty face of the little seer
As he stands in the desolation of his fathers
They sleep, but their hopes arise to the sound
Of rattling hope that will not go away

Memories of breath departing rumble
Calling to the winds of heaven to return and release
Pent up promises stored for generations of children who
Weeping, with tears of joy watch sinews, skin and flesh
Appear on a day of resurrection and see
For the first time that this rattling is not the sound
Of mourning but an africa arising resplendent.